Life app. Bible-

Unbelief and rejection breaks God's heart, because He knows the consequences. But when the door of the human heart is shut, He refuses to enter forcibly. He will only knock, wanting to gain admittance. He has given us the ability to choose. But when we choose the wrong thing, He knows the repercussions that will follow—in this life and the one to come.

I can sit in a wheelchair with hope and joy...ask me why! ........

Tuesday, February 21, 2006


Not much to say, Jaylee`s Birthday coming up. She`ll be 3! I wonder why she came so late in my life....I wonder if I can keep up and live long enough to see her strong and happy in her life. I suppose that I was ready to give up and sit with this disease but Jaylee came and Hospitals and Dr`s and diapers had to be taken care of. Just thinking about it tires me. I don`t know how I accomplished what I did. I didn't God did! I prayed and prayed and cried and cried! I have memories of hanging on to the sink and hoisting a baby into it for a bath.....a broken leg.....a wheelchair....many falls.......a food tube pulling out, stomach contents spewing at 4 am...........falls, lots of falls, I wish I could laugh but all I feel is sad that I can`t give her better. I want to give her a life full of different things, the outside different places to see...water....plants....mountains...clouds. I wish I had my family near, my sisters-mom-brothers-nieces-nephews they could pickup where I left off. I don`t see friends very often my ataxia bothers them and maybe I`m boring. I know when I was moving more I hated to be indoors sitting. Where will it end..........if this is the best now what will it be in another 5 years......I guess I`ll pray again, bye blog ;]