Life app. Bible-

Unbelief and rejection breaks God's heart, because He knows the consequences. But when the door of the human heart is shut, He refuses to enter forcibly. He will only knock, wanting to gain admittance. He has given us the ability to choose. But when we choose the wrong thing, He knows the repercussions that will follow—in this life and the one to come.

I can sit in a wheelchair with hope and joy...ask me why! ........

Saturday, June 04, 2005

low day

Hi Bloggy long time no see!!!!!! Slow low day, swimming in quick sand I feel........mentally,
physically praying it ends soon. Wishing and wondering why it has to be this way......watching and waiting is all I`m fit to do......why......why????? I miss my sister, my family . Why this walk.........on a happy note, grandchild is here, born 5/28/05 9lbs 11ozs Aiden 4:30a.m. I`m too tired.....byebye

Saturday, May 14, 2005


BLOG ME! I'VE BEEN SPAMMED!!!!! So that`s what happens when you make a comment! I guess I`ll keep my opinions to my come they are all in German! I can``t even read the spam, Oh mama I've been spammed SAVE ME!!!!!!!


Here I am again! Independent Living helping to redo prison!!! Yeah!!!!! wheelchair accessible including bathroom! Jaylee still living life disabled. No safe place for her outside. I ask too much, I want too much.....Freedom , I need it to survive. I love to go for a drive, to see something different besides 4 walls. I take deep breaths and dream of freedom, to walk run dance hop skip under MY own power!!!!! One day the miracle will be mine.........soon...........soon..........hurry up and come!!!!!

Sunday, April 24, 2005

wisdom please

Well here I am again, a little wiser and no money again! I am so aware of people ripping you off and I trust no one! but I still got sucked in.........I believe in Jesus body mind and soul and I believed in the people who preach it........joyce m, pat r........but there bios read of millions and millions that they have for 10,000sqft homes, boats, horses. I ration diapers milk , medication to help people around the world and guess what, they are not getting much of lives on 650.00 a month , my brother who is disabled can`t afford insurance and I`m giving to people who definitely don`t need it. Oh Lord, I need some wisdom now!!!! Happy Birthday Toni, I thought alot about you.....I pray for Chito, no jail time and finding God. Gloomy Gus out.....

Thursday, March 31, 2005


Up at 4 am, sure wish I could sleep. Joint is killing me and Jaylee has to sleep touching me. Sometimes all this closeness gets me feeling claustrophobic. Took 6 motrin and cipro, please work! oopies like Jaylee says try and hang on till medication sarts working. How much pain is Terry Schiavo in? Pope? I pray they have peace and The Lord to carry them thru to heaven.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005


It occurs to me watching tv is like window shopping. There is so much to see and do and experience. New ideas places to go things to do. I so much want to be apart of but here I sit. I look thru my window and see a wheelchair.Is this all I get......what have I done......where is my mark.....I want to live, so I pray and pray, hope, hope, hope, I wish and want..........but i`m still here. When a tree falls in the forest who hears, no one. It`s not important. Will I be important enough to hear?????? I pray and pray and pray.......

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Quiet ssshhhhhh

I so much enjoy the quiet, listening to TV looking outside as the wind blows.......a storm is coming!! Jaron will be home from school in 30 mins and Jaylee will be up and the fighting will be on!!! Time to pray, time to think, time to..........times up!!! Oh well it was heavenly while it lasted.....

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Mama`s Path

Mama's Path has been slow and weary but one her kids were destined to travel later. Mom married our Father years and years ago...... There marriage produced 6 kids, but the marriage only lasted 13 years. Mom was left to raise clothe and feed us on 300.00 a month. She took a job as a clerk in a dry cleaning establishment and then got her last job working as owner-agent for Greyhound Bus Depot. There she worked 6 days a week 10 hours a day for 31 years , no sick leave , no benefits, no vacation, no retirement. The Bus Depot closed its doors in 2002 with 4 hours notice, and mom survived on unemployment and then social security. Life was hard but its all my mother has known. My mother was married to my step-father in 1973. that union was difficult because of alcoholism and physical abuse by my step-father. During this time my mother was diagnosed with a form of Muscular Dystrophy called Freidrich`s Ataxia. This disease takes away balance, speech and muscle coordination eventually a wheelchair is needed within a 10-15 year period. The diagnosis was in 1980. My step-father didn't want to deal with it and left in 1980. All these years my mother has coped with her life changes by herself working and paying the bills living near poverty levels and still she keeps on going. I marvel at the courage and conviction my mom has and stamina!!!! I always thought I would do things differently or better in my life, little did I know I cannot keep up with my Mom nor fill her shoes. My path is the same as my mother's. I have been diagnosed with this disease and every day is a challenge for my family and myself. I scream and cry and rage with frustration but my mom always lights my way by example. She has done without for so many years and still no end in sight. And she continues will I just like my mother has shown me, thank you Mom for being my mother, God has surely blessed me.